Thirty & Thriving

“You can’t have my joy”

….I never saw my “30” coming!  Most know or have an ideal of what they want to have accomplished by 30.  The truth is, I’ve never lived for or envisioned my 30’s.  I’m a “live for the moment” type of gal.  I knew exactly what I wanted by age 25….but I never put a time frame on my expectations. 

 I learned in college to trust timing; I was a single mom, struggling to graduate from college but I did.  Once I met my husband…I realized that life happens with such intricate detail…things I had no control over were happening all the time; molding my “now” and the unforeseen, but altogether working in my favor. “No’s”, losing jobs, relocating, losing my car, having  to sleep on a bunk bed or couch, unrequited love, and depression were all apart of the bigger picture.

Life may not be picture perfect but it doesn’t have to be in order to reap the rewards that come from overcoming adversity, facing change with an open heart, and letting go of empty expectations.

Meaning and purpose are not born in the highs and lows; it’s sparked in all the moments in between when we pause, reflect, and extractthe lessons learned. True meaning is made when we put those lessons into action and honor their purpose in defining us as beautiful everyday warrior women!

“30” became a magical number for me, shedding a woman that I never wanted to be and seeing a woman I never knew I would become. 

This year on my 30th birthday I’ve chosen a celebration of abundance, gratitude, and of self-worth. 
Here is to knowing “Faith without works or practice is dead”

Girls, “Trip”.

The meaning of friendship is always up for debate; what it “is” and what it is “not” is a gray area as we age.  With the premier of the movie “Girls Trip”, the topic of “sisterhood” is on the rise!  Women everywhere rounded up, got fly, and headed to the theaters via Instagram and Facebook.

How many friends is too many?  What friend is your favorite?

I have been able to keep friendly acquaintances with childhood and high school friends over the years, but realistically, can we expect to keep the same friends FOREVER-EVER?

Once I graduated from high school, I attended college and met new friends.  I soon realized that me and my high school friends were drifting apart and in some respects…they didn’t know me at all.

Today, I’ve known my college friends for over ten years and met some great friends along the way…however, I have begun to wonder if friendships; like everything else, change and evolve just as we do.  How do we know when to save these friendships and when do we know when to let them go?  After watching the movie “Girls Trip”, I immediately began to ask myself, “how do we keep friendships alive, and is drifting apart inevitable?” Young adulthood brought the friendships that I value most because we were at our most vulnerable times and became a strong-tower for one another. In viewing “Girls Trip”, there were two things that were apparent to me as vital assets of friendship, willingness to communicate effectively and dedication despite confrontation.  Everyone is “GROWN” until it is time to effectively communicate, apologize, and try.  In this age, it is much easier to run or delete others.

There is no formal structure for friendship and you may go months without speaking to one another.  However, I do know that friendships help to support our happiness and will often change as we age and grow.  In adulthood, we begin to prioritize differently and this can cause a drift.  Often, friends with little responsibility have higher expectations of their friends and friends with more responsibility tend to prioritize friendship differently.  As I watch my circle of friends become smaller, I realize that this is natural.  Not every friendship is repairable nor healthy for our growth.  As we evolve and mature, we will ultimately outgrow some friendships and situations.  I decided to list a few of the characteristics that help to keep my friendships alive below:

  1. HUMOR- Who wants a stressful, emotionally unbalanced, hormonal, or reckless friendship? Good times are what I live for not a catastrophe every time we hang out.
  2. POSITIVE- Gossiping and negativity 24/7 is problematic.
  3. EQUAL EFFORT- I got your back, you got mine! RIDE OR DIE! (Don’t kill me tho’)
  4. EQUAL COMMUNICATION- Don’t just call me when you want my relationship advice, you’re being nosey, or when you’re in distress/trouble.
  6. RESPECT-Agree to Disagree. Say it to my face. Respect my personal boundaries.
    Every crew has their favorite “Girl Friend” show, which one reminds you most of you and your crew? VOTE